一、续写材料
第二节(满分25 分)
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之成为一篇完整的短文。
When I was seven years old, I got my first pet. At the time, my father was a doorkeeper in a school. When fall came around and the
leaves began to change colors, his school held its fall carnival (嘉年华). I was so excited to take part in it. After we pulled into the parking lot, I immediately got off the car!
Walking around, I was attracted by a room where there were about fifteen fishbowls and a basket full of Ping-Pong balls. There was only a high school girl in the room. She was in charge of the game. I walked up to her and whispered, “How to play this game?” “Oh. It’s easy. All you have to do is throw a Ping-Pong ball into one of the fishbowls. And if you succeed, you can get whichever goldfish in the bowl you hit,” she said.
“Okay. I can do it. How much does it cost?”I said. The girl replied,“Fifteen tries for a dollar.”
“A dollar? A whole dollar? Well … it is worth it. It is only a dollar, and I have ten of them,”I thought. Then I handed the pretty girl a dollar and she gave me a basket of fifteen Ping-Pong balls. I held the first one in my hand until it was warm. Then I took aim and threw it off. At last, it hit the rim (边) of the closest fishbowl and bounced onto the floor. I was disappointed, but I had fourteen more tries.
Again and again I aimed and the ball bounced but without success. I was down to my last Ping-Pong ball and my spirit was low. I held the Ping-Pong ball for nearly a full minute before I took aim. Then I closed my eyes, and tossed the ball. I stopped breathing and then opened my eyes, only to find the white ball was on the floor. I reminded myself that it was just a fish and tried to hold back the tears in my eyes.
The girl took one look at me and said,“Oh, honey, please don’t cry. Here, I’ll give you an extra shot, just because you tried so hard.”
注意：
(1)续写词数应为150个左右；(2)请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答
Para 1: At last, I went to find my parents and showed them my new fish.
Para 2:“Well, honey. What are you going to spend the rest of your money on?”Dad asked.
二、续写思路
第一段写作思路（At last, I went to find my parents and showed them my new fish.）
1.衔接前文：先补全“额外一次机会”的结果——孩子调整心态，最后一投成功（比如描写投球的瞬间，球落进鱼缸，女孩笑着递过金鱼，孩子的狂喜）。
2.场景描写：找到父母时的动作（比如攥着装金鱼的小袋子，跑过去），父母的反应（妈妈惊喜地叫出声，爸爸弯腰细看，夸奖孩子的坚持）。
3.细节刻画：描写金鱼的样子（比如橙红的鳞片，灵动的尾巴），孩子的心理（骄傲、开心，终于有了第一只宠物）。
4.铺垫下文：可以提一句爸爸注意到孩子剩下的钱，自然引出第二段的问句。
第二段写作思路（“Well, honey. What are you going to spend the rest of your money on?” Dad asked.）
1.孩子的思考：听到爸爸的问题，孩子先回忆刚才的经历（女孩的善意，自己的努力），然后产生想法。
2.回应内容：孩子决定把剩下的钱用在和宠物相关的地方（比如买金鱼食、小水草装饰鱼缸），或者延伸善意（比如给其他没投中的小朋友买几次机会），体现孩子的成长（从只想自己玩到懂得关爱宠物/分享善意）。
3.情感升华：爸爸对孩子的想法表示认可，强调这次经历带来的收获（坚持、善意、责任感），让故事有温暖的结尾。
三、续写高级表达
情感描写类
高级短语
heart swelling with joy（心潮澎湃，喜悦涌上心头）
eyes glistening with excitement（眼里闪着兴奋的光）
a surge of elation（一阵狂喜涌上心头）
a warm glow of gratitude（心底泛起温暖的感激）
be overcome with delight（喜不自胜，满心欢喜）
disappointment melting into triumph（失望转为喜悦，沮丧化为胜利的喜悦）
高级句子
1.My heart skipped a beat as the ball landed softly in the water, and a surge of elation rushed through my seven-year-old body.（当乒乓球轻轻落入水中时，我的心跳漏了一拍，一阵狂喜席卷了我七岁的小小身躯。）
2.Warmth spread through my chest at the girl’s kindness, making the crisp autumn air feel gentle and bright.（女孩的善意让我心头一暖，连秋日清爽的风都变得温柔又明亮。）
3.I was overcome with delight, my cheeks aching from the widest smile I’d ever worn as I held the tiny goldfish.（我喜不自胜，捧着小金鱼时脸上的笑容大得脸颊都发疼。）
动作描写类
高级短语
clench the plastic bag tightly（攥紧装鱼的塑料袋）
dart toward my parents（快步奔向父母）
bend down to peer at（弯腰细看）
ruffle my hair affectionately（慈爱地轻抚我的头发）
steady my breath（平复气息）
toss the ball with a steady hand（用平稳的手投出球）
高级句子
1.I clenched the plastic bag containing my goldfish tightly, my fingers turning slightly white as I darted through the carnival crowd to find my parents.（我攥着装金鱼的塑料袋，指尖因为用力而微微泛白，快步穿过嘉年华的人群去找爸爸妈妈。）
2.Dad bent down to peer at the wiggling creature, his calloused hand gently ruffling my hair in approval.（爸爸俯身端详着袋里扭动的小生命，他布满老茧的手慈爱地揉了揉我的头发，满是赞许。）
3.I steadied my breath, narrowed my eyes, and tossed the ball with a steady hand—this time, it skimmed the rim and settled into the water with a soft plop.（我稳住呼吸，眯起眼睛，稳稳抛出球 —— 这一次，球擦过缸沿，“扑通” 一声轻轻落入水中。）
场景描写类
高级短语
dappled sunlight through autumn leaves（秋叶间斑驳的阳光）
the hum of carnival chatter（嘉年华人群的嘈杂低语）
vibrant orange scales（鲜亮的橙红色鳞片）
a flurry of colorful booths（琳琅满目的彩色摊位）
crisp fall breeze（清爽的秋风）
高级句子
1.The dappled sunlight filtering through golden autumn leaves danced on the fishbowl, making the goldfish’s vibrant orange scales shimmer like tiny jewels.（金色秋叶间的斑驳阳光在鱼缸上跳动，让金鱼鲜亮的橙红色鳞片像小宝石般闪闪发光。）
2.The carnival buzzed with laughter and distant game bells, but all I could focus on was the tiny creature wiggling in my plastic bag.（嘉年华里满是笑声和远处游戏摊位的铃铛声，但我眼里只有塑料袋里扭动的小生命。）
3.A crisp fall breeze carried the scent of popcorn and caramel apples as I walked, the warmth of my new treasure chasing away the chill.（清爽的秋风裹挟着爆米花和焦糖苹果的香气，我怀里新得到的小宝贝带来的暖意驱散了凉意。）
主旨升华类
高级短语
a lesson in perseverance（关于毅力的启示）
ripple of kindness（善意的涟漪）
the true prize（真正的奖品）
nurture a sense of responsibility（培养责任感）
act of compassion（充满同情心的举动）
高级句子
1.What I gained that day wasn’t just a goldfish, but a lesson in perseverance—and the understanding that a small act of kindness can turn disappointment into joy.（那天我收获的不只是一条金鱼，更是关于坚持的一课 —— 我明白了小小的善举就能把失望化为喜悦。）
2.Dad’s words lingered in my mind: the true prize of the carnival wasn’t the fish itself, but the warmth of compassion I’d both received and wanted to share.（爸爸的话在我脑海里回响：嘉年华真正的奖品不是这条鱼，而是我感受到并想要传递的那份温暖善意。）
3.Caring for my new pet would nurture a sense of responsibility in me, and I hoped my small act of kindness might brighten another child’s day too.（照顾我的新宠物会培养我的责任感，我也希望我的小小善举能点亮另一个孩子的一天。）
四、范文赏析
At last, I went to find my parents and showed them my new fish. I rambled on about how the kind girl gave me an extra shot when I was downcast, and how that final toss landed the ball right in the bowl. Mom’s eyes sparkled with warmth, while Dad patted my head, a proud smile tugging at his lips. The tiny goldfish flicked its orange tail in the bag, and I held it tightly, knowing this little creature was the sweet fruit of both my persistence and a stranger’s kindness.
“Well, honey. What are you going to spend the rest of your money on?” Dad asked. I paused for a second, the girl’s warm gesture replaying vividly in my mind, then grinned. “First, I’ll buy a proper fishbowl and some tasty fish food for my new friend,” I said firmly. “Then, I’ll get extra Ping-Pong balls for the next kid who can’t make the shot.” Mom squeezed my hand gently, and Dad’s smile broadened, as if he saw a little seed of kindness and responsibility sprouting in my heart.
中文翻译：
最后，我去找爸爸妈妈，向他们展示我的新鱼。我叽叽喳喳地讲着，当我垂头丧气时，那个善良的女孩是怎样多给了我一次机会，而那最后一投又如何精准落进了鱼缸。妈妈的眼里漾着暖意，爸爸则拍了拍我的头，嘴角扬起骄傲的笑容。小金鱼在袋子里甩动着橙红色的尾巴，我紧紧捧着它，心里清楚，这个小生命是我的坚持与陌生人的善意共同结出的甜美果实。
“好了，宝贝。你剩下的钱打算用来做什么呢？” 爸爸问。我顿了一下，女孩暖心的举动在脑海里清晰回放，随即咧嘴一笑。“首先，我要给我的新朋友买一个像样的鱼缸和美味的鱼食，” 我坚定地说，“然后，再买些额外的乒乓球，留给下一个投不中的小朋友。” 妈妈轻轻握了握我的手，爸爸的笑容更加灿烂，仿佛看到一颗兼具善意与责任感的小种子正在我心里萌芽。
范文赏析要点：
这篇续写范文在情节衔接、情感表达和主旨升华上都做得非常出色，下面我结合具体例句来拆解它的高分亮点：
一、情节衔接：自然流畅，呼应前文
续写的核心要求是与原文无缝衔接，这篇范文做到了这一点。
例句：“I rambled on about how the kind girl gave me an extra shot when I was downcast, and how that final toss landed the ball right in the bowl.”
赏析：这句话直接呼应了原文中女孩 “给我额外一次机会” 的情节，用 “rambled on” 生动还原了 7 岁孩子兴奋分享的状态，既交代了 “得到金鱼” 的关键信息，又让故事逻辑连贯。
例句：“First, I’ll buy a proper fishbowl and some tasty fish food for my new friend.”
赏析：精准回应了 “买浴缸和鱼食” 的要求，用 “proper” 和 “tasty” 两个形容词体现出孩子对新宠物的珍视，让情节发展符合人物年龄与心理。
二、情感刻画：细腻真实，打动人心
范文通过动作、神态描写，让人物的情绪跃然纸上。
例句：“Mom’s eyes sparkled with warmth, while Dad patted my head, a proud smile tugging at his lips.”
赏析：用“eyes sparkled with warmth”和“proud smile tugging at his lips”的细节，细腻刻画了父母的欣慰与骄傲，与孩子的喜悦形成呼应，让家庭氛围的温暖感扑面而来。
例句：“I paused for a second, the girl’s warm gesture replaying vividly in my mind, then grinned.”
赏析：“paused” 和 “grinned” 的动作对比，加上 “warm gesture replaying vividly” 的心理描写，展现了女孩的善意对“我”的影响，为后续 “买乒乓球留给其他孩子”的行为做了自然铺垫。
三、主旨升华：以小见大，传递温暖
优秀的续写不仅要讲完故事，更要让主题有深度。
例句：“The tiny goldfish flicked its orange tail in the bag, and I held it tightly, knowing this little creature was the sweet fruit of both my persistence and a stranger’s kindness.”
赏析：把金鱼比喻成“坚持与善意的果实”，将一次嘉年华的小游戏升华为关于毅力与温暖的成长感悟，让故事有了更深远的意义。
例句：“Dad’s smile broadened, as if he saw a little seed of kindness and responsibility sprouting in my heart.”
赏析：用“seed of kindness and responsibility sprouting”的比喻，既呼应了前文女孩的善意传递，又点明了“我”的成长，让主旨从 “收获宠物” 上升到“学会善意与担当”，余味悠长。
四、语言表达：生动鲜活，贴合年龄
范文的语言风格完全贴合7岁孩子的视角，充满童真。
例句：“I rambled on about how the kind girl gave me an extra shot…”
赏析：“rambled on”（喋喋不休地说）精准还原了孩子兴奋时的说话状态，比平淡的“said”更有画面感。
例句：“…for my new friend”
赏析：孩子把金鱼称作“new friend”，而非“pet”，体现了童真的视角，让情感表达更真挚。
易青兰，湖南省株洲市攸县一中青年骨干教师，敬业乐业，勇于创新，热爱生活，爱好广泛。她教学业绩优秀，教学教研能力突出。曾获攸县高中英语课堂大赛一等奖；获得攸县＂教坛新秀＂、株洲市第八届“教坛新秀”等荣誉称号。她说希望自己能成为一个眼睛发光、内心仁爱的老师，做教育种福人，以精致之专业，有趣之课堂，丰盈之爱心，立德树人，静待花开。
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