一、续写材料
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was a regular Saturday morning, just like any other. I was driving my nine-year-old daughter, Emma, to her weekly swimming lesson. Recently, Emma had started seeing me as a true hero who could solve any problem fairly. "You always know what's right, Dad," she would say. We were talking about her class when I noticed a crowd up ahead and had to slow down.
People were gathered on the street, pointing and laughing. In the middle of it all was a large brown and white cow. It looked completely lost and terrified. Some kids were shouting nearby, which seemed to scare the animal even more. A strong feeling of anger rose inside me. These people were treating the poor creature's fear as entertainment.
"Dad, that cow is scared." Emma said softly from the back seat. "What would you do?" Her question was serious. She believed I would do the right thing. "Well," I said, trying to sound confident for her, "I would calm it down and help it find its way home." I explained that I knew a lot about cows. I spent my childhood on a farm, and now I even worked at a beef processing plant. I was sure my experience would impress Emma. After dropping off a very impressed Emma, I turned my car around. I felt it was my duty to go back and help.
When I returned, the scene was worse. I learned from a shop owner that the cow had been wandering for a while, knocking over a fruit stand and causing quite a bit of trouble. I took a slow, careful step towards the animal, speaking in a gentle voice. However, instead of calming down, the cow lowered its head and let out a threatening sound. It stared directly at me, full of hostility. My confidence faded, replaced by a sudden fear. This wasn't going to be easy at all.
注意:
续写词数应为150个左右
请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para 1: Just as I was about to turn and run, two police officers arrived on the scene.
Para 2: After we managed to secure the cow to a tree, we began to discuss what to do with it.
二、写作思路
第一段Just as I was about to turn and run, two police officers arrived on the scene.
1.警察到场:警察到达后,首先疏散了人群,但他们的强硬方式让奶牛更加惊恐易怒。 2.内心挣扎:我看到情况恶化,想起了女儿的信任和自己的承诺,以及我在农场和加工
厂学到的经验。
3.主动请缨:我鼓起勇气向警察提出帮忙,并采取了柔和的策略。
4.具体行动:我侧着身子慢慢靠近,用低沉温和的声音安抚它,并喂食奶牛喜欢的食物来建立信任。
5.成功控制:在奶牛放松警惕后,我和警察配合,用绳索将它安全地拴在了树上。
第二段 After we managed to secure the cow to a tree, we began to discuss what to do with it.
1.众人讨论:人们对如何安置奶牛各执一词,提出的方案都不理想。
2.回忆承诺:我想起了对女儿的承诺,决定帮奶牛找到真正的家。
3.提出方案:我建议警察联系附近的农场,认为那里才是最适合它的地方。
4.农场主到来:农场主很快赶来并认出了奶牛,在我的帮助下将奶牛安全运回农场。
5.父女对话:我接女儿下课时,将事情的经过告诉了她,她的眼神里充满了自豪和崇拜。
三、续写高级表达
情感表达类
高级短语
惊恐易怒 terrified and aggressive
内心纠结万分 be torn apart by mixed emotions
颜面尽失 lose one's dignity completely
信守承诺 honor one's commitment
松了一口气 let out a sigh of relief
自豪感油然而生 a surge of pride welled up
充满崇拜与自豪 be filled with admiration and pride
坚定决心 strengthen one's resolve
高级句子
1.Witnessing the police’s rough tactics worsening the situation, I was caught in a fierce internal struggle—fleeing from fear or stepping up to uphold the heroic image in my daughter’s eyes.看着警察的粗暴手段让局势愈发糟糕,我陷入了激烈的内心挣扎:是因恐惧退缩,还是挺身而出维护自己在女儿心中的英雄形象。
2.The thought of disappointing Emma and shattering her trust was far more unbearable than the threat of the enraged cow.一想到会让艾玛失望、打破她的信任,这种感觉比那头暴怒奶牛的威胁要难熬得多。
3.When the cow finally relaxed its tense muscles and stopped lowing threateningly, a wave of overwhelming relief washed over me.当奶牛终于舒展紧绷的肌肉,停止充满威胁的低吼时,一股巨大的释然感席卷了我。
4.As I recounted the story to Emma, the glimmer of pure admiration in her eyes made all my fear and effort worthwhile.当我向艾玛讲述整件事的经过时,她眼中纯粹的崇拜光芒,让我所有的恐惧与付出都变得值得。
动作描写类
高级短语
拉起警戒线 set up a cordon
挥舞警棍 wave batons
厉声呵斥 shout harshly
围堵拦截 block and intercept
褪去亮色外套 shed the bright-colored jacket
侧身缓慢挪步 approach sideways with slow steps
压低嗓音安抚 soothe in a low voice
投喂新鲜草料 offer fresh hay
轻抚牛背皮毛 stroke the cow’s back gently
拴牢绳索 fasten the rope securely
高级句子
1.The two officers jumped out of the patrol car in a flash, set up a cordon around the cow and herded the onlookers away, trying to regain control of the chaotic scene.两名警察瞬间跳下车,在奶牛周围拉起警戒线,把围观人群驱散,试图重新掌控混乱的场面。
2.They waved their batons and shouted harshly to drive the cow away, only to see it stamp its hooves angrily and charge at the makeshift barrier.他们挥舞警棍、厉声呵斥着驱赶奶牛,却只见它愤怒地蹬着蹄子,朝着临时围栏猛冲过去。
3.I shed my bright red jacket to avoid startling the cow, then approached it sideways with tiny, deliberate steps, never making any sudden movements.我脱下鲜红色的外套以免惊动奶牛,随后迈着小心翼翼的碎步侧身靠近,全程没有任何突兀的动作。
4.I pulled a handful of fresh hay from my car trunk, held it out at arm’s length, and waited patiently for the cow to sniff the familiar scent.我从后备箱里掏出一把新鲜草料,伸直手臂递过去,耐心等待奶牛嗅闻这熟悉的气息。
5.When the cow started munching on the hay, I slowly stretched out my hand and stroked its neck lightly, then signaled the police to fasten the rope around its horns.当奶牛开始大口咀嚼草料时,我缓缓伸出手轻拍它的脖颈,随即示意警察把绳索拴牢在它的牛角上。
场景描写类
高级短语
混乱的场面 a chaotic scene
喧闹的人群 a noisy crowd
尘土飞扬 dust flying everywhere
紧张的气氛 a tense atmosphere
宁静的农场 a peaceful farm
温暖的余晖 warm afterglow
高级句子
1.The air was thick with the noise of shouting and the cow’s frightened lowing, with dust flying everywhere as the animal stampeded back and forth.空气中充斥着人群的叫喊声和奶牛惊恐的低吼,牲畜四处奔窜,扬起漫天尘土。
2.As the cow gradually calmed down, the commotion of the crowd faded away, leaving only the soft rustle of it chewing hay.随着奶牛渐渐平静,人群的喧嚣也慢慢消散,只剩下它咀嚼草料的轻柔沙沙声。
3.When the farmer’s trailer pulled into the farm, the warm afterglow of the sun painted the pastures golden, and a few calves trotted over to greet the newcomer.当农场主的拖车驶入农场时,温暖的夕阳余晖将牧场染成了金色,几头小牛小跑着过来迎接这位 “新成员”。
4.The street, once filled with chaos, returned to its usual calm, with only a few scattered leaves left to tell the story of what had happened.这条一度混乱不堪的街道,恢复了往日的平静,只有几片散落的落叶,诉说着刚刚发生的一切。
主旨升华类
高级短语
真正的勇气 true courage
对生命的尊重 respect for all living beings
言传身教 teach by words and deeds
履行责任 fulfill one’s responsibility
宝贵的一课 a valuable lesson
高级句子
1.This experience taught me that true courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act bravely despite it, for the sake of a promise.这次经历让我明白,真正的勇气并非毫无畏惧,而是心怀恐惧,仍愿为了一份承诺勇敢前行。
2.By choosing to calm the frightened cow instead of driving it away roughly, we showed the most basic respect for all living beings.我们选择安抚受惊的奶牛,而非粗暴驱赶,这便是对所有生命最基本的尊重。
3.As a father, there is no better way to educate a child than to teach by words and deeds, letting her see what it means to keep a promise and take responsibility.作为一名父亲,没有比言传身教更好的教育方式 —— 让孩子亲眼见证,信守承诺、担当责任究竟意味着什么。
4.That day, I didn’t just save a cow; I also gave my daughter a valuable lesson about kindness and courage, which would stay with her for a lifetime.那一天,我不仅拯救了一头奶牛,更给女儿上了一堂关于善良与勇气的宝贵课程,这堂课将伴随她一生。
四、范文赏析
Just as I was about to turn and run, two police officers arrived on the scene. They jumped out instantly, set up a cordon and evacuated the crowd. Waving batons and shouting harshly, they tried to drive the cow away, but the rough tactics only made it more terrified and aggressive. A fierce internal struggle gripped me—I recalled Emma’s admiring eyes, my boast and the animal-taming skills learned on the farm. Summoning up my courage, I stepped forward and offered to help. I shed my bright jacket, approached sideways and murmured softly. Then I fetched fresh hay from my car, held it out and waited. After minutes of patient coaxing, the cow relaxed and started munching. Signaling the police, we secured it to a tree with a rope.
After we managed to secure the cow to a tree, we began to discuss what to do with it. Bystanders argued fiercely: some suggested the animal shelter, others the slaughterhouse, while the police proposed temporary foster care. Remembering my promise to Emma, I advised contacting local farms. Luckily, a farmer soon arrived, recognizing the cow as his. We helped load it onto his trailer and sent it back to the farm. Later, when I picked up Emma and told her the story, her eyes sparkled with pure admiration and pride. At that moment, I realized that being a hero isn’t about performing grand deeds, but about keeping a simple promise and showing kindness to a helpless creature in need. It is these small, warm acts that weave the most beautiful threads in the fabric of our lives.
范文赏析要点:
本文紧扣读后续写 “情节连贯、情感真挚、主题升华” 三大核心要求,语言精准高级,叙事节奏张弛有度,堪称高考读后续写的优质范本。
一、情节衔接自然,逻辑链条严密
续写内容完全贴合原文设定,每一个情节推进都有迹可循,与开头语和前文背景高度契合。
例句 1:"Waving batons and shouting harshly, they tried to drive the cow away, but the rough tactics only made it more terrified and aggressive."
赏析:此句承接第一段开头 “my confidence faded, replaced by a sudden fear”,通过描写警察的粗暴处置让奶牛情绪恶化,制造了新的矛盾冲突,为 “我” 挺身而出的情节做了完美铺垫,让故事发展不突兀。
例句 2:"I recalled Emma’s admiring eyes, my boast and the animal-taming skills learned on the farm."
赏析:这句话呼应了原文中 “Emma had started seeing me as a true hero” 和 “I spent my childhood on a farm” 的细节,让 “我” 的心理转变和行为动机有了充分依据,体现了读后续写 “前后呼应” 的关键技巧。
二、动作描写生动,画面感十足
文中运用一系列精准的动词和分词结构,将安抚奶牛的过程写得层次分明,读者仿佛身临其境。
例句:"I shed my bright jacket, approached sideways and murmured softly. Then I fetched fresh hay from my car, held it out and waited."
赏析:连续使用 shed, approached, murmured, fetched, held 等短动词,搭配 “sideways”“softly” 等副词,清晰展现了 “我” 安抚奶牛的具体步骤,动作连贯且符合前文提到的 “农场经验”,既真实又具画面感。
三、语言表达高级,句式灵活多变
范文摆脱了简单句的堆砌,运用非谓语动词、并列句、复合句等结构,体现了深厚的语言功底。
例句 1:"Waving batons and shouting harshly, they tried to drive the cow away..."
赏析:使用现在分词短语 Waving...and shouting... 作伴随状语,替代了 “And they waved batons and shouted harshly” 的简单表达,句式更简洁高级。
例句2:"Bystanders argued fiercely: some suggested the animal shelter, others the slaughterhouse, while the police proposed temporary foster care."
赏析:运用 some...others...while... 的并列结构,简洁明了地呈现众人的不同观点,避免了重复的 “some suggested...; others suggested...” 句式,表达更紧凑。
四、主题升华深刻,贴合主旨
结尾的升华不生硬,而是紧扣 “承诺” 与 “英雄” 的核心主题,实现了思想的拔高。
例句:"At that moment, I realized that being a hero isn’t about performing grand deeds, but about keeping a simple promise and showing kindness to a helpless creature in need."
赏析:此句通过 not...but... 结构,颠覆了 “英雄是无所不能” 的刻板印象,点明 “英雄源于坚守承诺与心怀善意” 的主旨,既呼应了女儿眼中的英雄形象,又传递了正能量,升华恰到好处。
五、范文高频加分句式
1.非谓语动词作状语(高考核心提分句式)
句式结构:现在分词短语作伴随状语 (doing sth, 主句)
例句:Waving batons and shouting harshly, they tried to drive the cow away.
用法解析:用现在分词短语替代并列句 “They waved batons and shouted harshly, and they
tried...”,句式更简洁紧凑,突出动作的同时性,是读后续写中动作描写的高分表达。
句式结构:现在分词短语作原因状语 (doing sth, 主句)
例句:Remembering my promise to Emma, I advised contacting local farms.
用法解析:用分词短语替代原因状语从句 “Because I remembered my promise to Emma...”,避免句式重复,让行文更流畅。
2.并列结构(简洁呈现多对象动作 / 观点)
句式结构:连续动词并列 (v1, v2 and v3)
例句:I shed my bright jacket, approached sideways and murmured softly.
用法解析:通过连续的谓语动词并列,清晰展现 “我” 安抚奶牛的一系列动作,节奏明快,画面感强,避免了 “I did sth. Then I did sth.” 的简单句式堆砌。
句式结构:some...others...while... 多观点并列
例句:Some suggested the animal shelter, others the slaughterhouse, while the police proposed temporary foster care.
用法解析:用这个结构高效呈现不同人群的分歧,省略重复的动词 “suggested”,表达简洁且逻辑清晰,是处理 “众人讨论” 类情节的绝佳句式。
3.not...but... 对比结构(结尾主旨升华黄金句式)
句式结构:not about doing sth, but about doing sth
例句:Being a hero isn’t about performing grand deeds, but about keeping a simple promise and showing kindness to a helpless creature in need.
用法解析:通过对比否定 “英雄做大事” 的刻板印象,肯定 “坚守承诺、心怀善意” 的核心主旨,直击读后续写 “主题升华” 的得分要点,句式富有哲理,感染力强。
4.省略式定语表达(提升句式简洁度)
句式结构:过去分词短语作后置定语 (n. + done 短语)
例句:I recalled Emma’s admiring eyes, my boast and the animal-taming skills learned on the farm.
用法解析:用 “learned on the farm” 替代定语从句 “which were learned on the farm”,简化句式结构的同时,突出核心名词 “skills”,符合高考英语 “简洁表达” 的评分要求。
5.分词短语替代定语从句(紧凑衔接逻辑)
句式结构:现在分词短语作伴随状语 (主句,doing sth)
例句:Luckily, a farmer soon arrived, recognizing the cow as his.
用法解析:用现在分词短语替代非限制性定语从句 “who recognized the cow as his”,让两个分句的逻辑衔接更紧密,句式更高级,避免了重复使用引导词的啰嗦表达。
易青兰,湖南省株洲市攸县一中青年骨干教师,敬业乐业,勇于创新,热爱生活,爱好广泛。她教学业绩优秀,教学教研能力突出。曾获攸县高中英语课堂大赛一等奖;获得攸县"教坛新秀"、株洲市第八届“教坛新秀”等荣誉称号。她说希望自己能成为一个眼睛发光、内心仁爱的老师,做教育种福人,以精致之专业,有趣之课堂,丰盈之爱心,立德树人,静待花开。
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